Before the hemorrhaging began, I had no idea that I was miscarrying. All of this was so shocking; so unforeseen. Having only experienced other 1st trimester miscarriages in the past, I thought that I was far enough along to start relaxing and getting excited about this baby. But now my rejoicing in meeting and holding my living child, would turn to my rejoicing that my baby was safe and whole with my Savior.
On this night, I miscarried, and delivered at home, our precious 4 month old; 16 week old little BOY. After going into shock at home in under 10 minutes, I was rushed to the hospital, where I continued to lose massive amounts of blood, which led to a blood transfusion of 4 units of blood. Being a "bleeder", I urged the E.R. doctors to try my "favorite" drugs that are usually used for my hemorrhaging. But that didn't work. I ended up needing an emergency D&C. They said that if I had continue to bleed for another hour I would have died. Honestly, I wholeheartedly believe that. I am no wimp, nor am I overly dramatic, but I have never before felt that close to death; I have never before appeared to others to be so close to death. I was (and still am) absolutely exhausted from it all.
We named our little baby Levi Samuel which means, "united/ answer to prayer". He was beautiful. He was so PERFECTLY formed. In fact, the E.R. nurses and EMT's were amazed at how perfectly formed he was at such a young age. He even resembled, at 16 weeks, my other children! He was my little baby, created in the image of His Creator God, as Scripture says!
Our other children had seen and heard the ambulance arrive. A few of them saw Mommy being wheeled out, white as a sheet, unconscious and on a stretcher, . They knew at that time that Levi was already in Heaven, but now their concern turned to Mommy.
After the hysteria subsided, Annalise (17) led all the children in praise songs, while Grandma listened in. They UNITED in PRAYER for Mommy's recovery and saw their prayers ANSWERED! God spared my life miraculously. I was so close to joining Levi in Glory, but He chose to let me stay here on earth for a bit longer. Thank God for doctors, surgery and for the four people who donated the blood used in the transfusions! We are all grateful that I am here to raise my 8 children, but thankfully I was prepared to go Home, if the Lord had seen fit to take me. We were so grateful for out UNITED PRAYER warriors (yes, even our own children), which is why we chose that name for our son!
We were able to bury precious Levi on February 3rd (two days before my 33rd birthday, for which I am happy to have been able to celebrate). Photos HERE. It was a small service - with only grandparents and our pastor and his family. Such peace has been brought by being able to lay him to rest! Thank you, Jesus, for that closure, as well!
Again, thank you to all of you who were aware of the situation and prayed. We still covet your prayers for my physical recovery (I feel like I've been hit by a truck) and for our emotional healing. Through it ALL, we still praise Jesus and remember these verses, as we heal emotionally and try to figure out what happened and why (pray for doctors to run appropriate tests and to have wisdom!).
"I will fulfill my vows to You, O God, and will offer a sacrifice of thanks for Your help. For you have rescued me from death; You have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in Your presence, O God, in Your life-giving light." Psalm 56:12-13
"And if our hope in Christ is only for this life, we are more to be pitied than anyone in the world..." ~ 1 Corinthians 15:19"Heaven is not here, it's There. If we were given all we wanted here, our hearts would settle for this world rather than the next. God is forever luring us up and away from this one, wooing us to Himself and His still invisible Kingdom, where we will certainly find what we so keenly long for." —Elisabeth Elliot