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A. When a woman comes close to losing her own life, either in child-bearing or when losing a child (micarriage, an ectopic, etc.), it is a very terrifying experiece that causes any believing woman to question God is one or more ways. Going through such an experience, as I just did (my story HERE and HERE) IS no walk in the park! In fact it's downright scary!Our experience of losing Levi was the closest that I've ever come to going Home. I literally thought I was dying. I guess in all actuality, I was. I was in shock and my organs were shutting down...all this just 5-10 minutes after the whole miscarriage suddenly- and without even one sign or symptom- began.
I think that with every incidence where you come close to the point where you could have died, you suddenly realize just how fragile YOUR life is (James 4:14)! That thought really hits home and kicks that "natural man" and that fear into high gear! Scary stuff, for sure, but I really, truly have handed it all over to God. I trust Him with all his creations! Deep down, I just know He would never create a little someone just to tell me in Heaven, "Well, you should've used that wonderful brain I gave you to help me prevent giving you that life that took yours. I just can't handle *all* things." That thought helps me realize that God is...well, God! He doesn't ask or require our help in giving, preventing or taking life. He's fully capable of handling it all...including my fears! I can rest peacefully, knowing that as long as I'm in His Will, allowing Him to open and close my womb, that I am in His hand! :)
"If we knew everything God knows, we would make the same decisions He makes." -Christian Family Enrichment <--- That's why Mark and I have allowed God to make the decision of when to create souls in our "family UNplanning". He has complete control over my womb! Only He knows best!
James 4:14 says, "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."
2 comments:
I was directed here by someone I asked thoughts of on this very subject.
I nearly came close to dying with the birth of my second child, as well as she herself having complications and an extended hospital stay.
Your trust in God is amazing and wonderful, but I guess I can't come to that conclusion just yet. I have been thinking about this, and I am downright scared to have another child.
I use the argument of God giving me the mind to make the right decisions. I know that God would never say "well you should've used that brain I gave you", however, there are certain things that we don't do because we know it would cause us or someone else harm.
I know God is in control, but I don't think that means that I should be careless with my life and say "well it's in God's hands". I believe we are given common sense to see the danger in certain situations. The signal in my brain that says "danger!" isn't something that I think correlates with disobedience to God, but preservation of life.
This is no disrespect to you, as I really admire your trust in God. I guess it's just something I struggle with greatly. I don't want to be disobedient, but I'm just not sure about everything. I think I just need more prayer on this, but thank you so much for writing about this, as it's weighing on my heart, and good to see it from someone else's point of view.
Zannah,
I can't fault you on your opinion. To be honest, I remember telling my husband that Judah (our youngest) was our last baby when I was lying on the table, getting a 4th unit of blood after losing our 4 month old son...I was dying and I was scared. However, after much Biblical studying, prayer and thinking things through, we are now blessed with another precious one (I'm 11 weeks along) and I am so glad (even if I don't carry to term...even if I go through all of that again and DON'T make it), that I allowed God to create this ETERNAL SOUL in my womb.
Blessings to you as you search for wisdom in this area! Remember, God is God and He never creates mistakes, nor will He ever. :)
Lisa
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