Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Free Will Lets me Number my Children!

Comment: I know so many people like me who use birth control or who have been sterilized and they are all Christians. We must all be in the "hot seat" for our disobedience, then. Please! You're the oddball! What about the poor women who can't afford more children or those who might die in childbearing who choose to not have any more children? What a guilt trip YOU put them on! God gave me a free will and He doesn't want me having any more children than I already have! He told me to stop at two. And you can't tell me what God has only shared with me as His will for me. So there!

Reply: I'm pregnant with #9 (5 biological, 3 adopted, 7 whom we lost through at 4 months). I almost died in January when miscarrying my 4 month old little boy....sudden and complete placental abruption, they couldn't stop the bleeding, went into shock, was told I came w/in an hour of dying. Now I take heparin shots in the stomach twice daily to prevent my autoimmune disorder from killing the baby and/or me. So far, I have 5 here on earth that God blessed me with biologically...none were a mistake, though the medical community would have told me to tell God "hands off" a long time ago.

My husband and I just rest, knowing that God would never create a little someone just to tell me in Heaven, "Well, you should've used that wonderful brain I gave you to help me prevent giving you that life that took yours. I just can't handle *all* things." That thought helps me realize that God is...well, God! He doesn't ask or require our help in giving, preventing or taking life. He's fully capable of handling it all...including my fears! I can rest peacefully, knowing that as long as I'm in His Will, allowing Him to open and close my womb, that I am in His hand! :)

"If we knew everything God knows, we would make the same decisions He makes." -Christian Family Enrichment <--- That's why Mark and I have allowed God to make the decision of when to create souls in our "family UNplanning". He has complete control over my womb! Only He knows best!
James 4:14 says, "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."

"I will fulfill my vows to You, O God, and will offer a sacrifice of thanks for Your help. For you have rescued me from death; You have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in Your presence, O God, in Your life-giving light." Psalm 56:12-13
As for the many sadly deceived Christians in this world (I once was one of them)...Scripture clearly tells us that many will be deceived in the last days. One of my favorite Scriptures is 2 Timothy 3:12-17 "In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evil men and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

In that one section of Scripture, we are told that many will deceive and be deceived; we are called to CONTINUE ON in what we have learned and become convinced of; we are told we will be "persecuted" for wanting (just WANTING) to live a godly life. Even though our persecution isn't a life and death issue in this country right now, we are all still verbally attacked or physically avoided for our Scripturally-based convictions. Those who are persecuted on this earth will be far fewer than those who claim to be Christ-followers, but rather choose to selfishly live out their lives and chalk it up to "free will" or the like. That is why there are so few who are faithful to the Word! They are afraid to commit to God with their ENTIRE being...body, mind and soul...for fear of what it will cost them!

“We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be. CS Lewis
This "I have free will to do as I please" line of thinking fails when held next to Scripture. If that line of thinging were to be true.....God is put in a box. God needs our help and relies upon our free will in order to create. God has given us free will, so we must exercise it however we want; we must let our heart or the peace we feel determine our path in family planning. The problem with that is that we are given free will to obey and free will to disobey; we are given free will to accept His creations as He sends them and we are given free will to reject the blessings He would like to send us.

We will all someday be held accountable for not being wise stewards. Many Christians will someday be held accountable for not accepting the "talents" (as in the Parable of the Talents) - in the form of eternal souls - from God. We will be accused of refusing blessings! Bill & Kim Kinderman put it this way:

"Another major problem with the argument is the alleged authority of the steward. The steward works for someone else who has established the parameters of his stewardship. The steward does not make their own rules – they do what the boss says; they accept what He gives and the blessings He sends. So, with this in mind, remember – God is boss and has told human stewards of His world to be fruitful and multiply. So how is it legitimate without some further word from God on the subject for the steward to just up and decide one day "He does not really want me to do this – He left it up to me to decide." The Bible, in other words, nowhere tells man He has the authority to decide that God’s command to be fruitful and multiply no longer applies. Man may claim authority to decide this, but the Bible does not indicate God intends for man to assume such authority.

Who do we think we are, to tell Him what blessings we will and will not accept, guided by our selfish desires for comfort, prestige, the praise of men, or other carnal motives?!! He owns the cattle on a thousand hills, but He needs your help in limiting the kids so that there will be enough funds left for Him to spread enough around so that each couple will be able to reasonably support [them] financially.”

Is God not capable of sending you the EXACT amount of children He wants to send? Or is it that we do not view children as the incredible blessing that their CREATOR says that they are? Ouch!

I do not know how many children is right for you, but (*NEWFLASH*) NEITHER DO YOU! Only God knows how many He wants to send you. It might be 2. It might be 6. It might be 10. Or it might be 20. If God has really and truly told you how many He has ordained you to have, then why does He need your help to prevent Him from creating an "oops"?

"One of you will say to me: "Then why does God still blame us? For
who resists his will?"
But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?' "Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?"
Romans 9:19-21
All of this human reasoning and logic goes against the God we see in Scripture. Only He opened the womb and only He closed it. If God is the same yesterday, today and forever, then that still holds true today. Notice how throughout Scripture God talks of children as the highest rewards. If that is so and He is the POTTER, then we, as the CLAY, should accept His creations that He chooses to create within our womb. If He told you he wanted you to have 2, then you'll have 2 whether you use "protection" [from blessings] or not.

Humans LOVE to play God! And that is exactly what we're trying to do when we tell God He does not have permission to send us more blessings of children...anything else He can send us (more money, bigger house, newer vehicle), but not... (*gasp*) children! "Hands off my womb, God, until I tell you otherwise! Check back again in 2.5 years."

If this position is something that you truly believe, and you honestly want the truth on the matter of whether or not birth control is Biblical, please do search the Scriptures with an open heart...a heart that desires to be changed, if Scripture indeed backs up the "quiverfull" position of letting God create souls, as He wills. If you cannot find Scripture to back up your human opinion, then your argument falls flat Biblically. I challenge you to find some Scripture on how using free will to decide on when and if God creates life is okay.

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Desi said...


Sarah said...

Amen again! I was decieved at one time too :( we have three beautiful children on earth in between a miscarriage in 2001 and an unconfirmed m/c in 2009. I long for more but I have to realize that right now God's answer is no.

Sherry R said...

Just playing the "devil's advocate" here, but in an "only God decides with my womb" argument, what would you tell someone who is barren and is seeking fertility treatment?

The Fanning's Ark said...

Sherry R, I have the same question... I'm a Christian who wouldn't take birth control, but I needed Fertility to bring my four little ones into our home. What's your opinion on that?

Lisa (Lively) Metzger said...

On's something I wrote a few years ago. I'll repost this, as well, but here's the link:

Erin said...

Awesome post!

In response to fertility questions, my personal belief is that God uses the fertility doctors in the same way he uses other doctors. I mean if you had a heart attack and went to the hospital, that wouldn't be considered questioning God's will. I see fertility doctors as the same.

God is the one who gave them the knowledge and skill to do what they do, and if it isn't in God's plan for a new life to begin, then the procedure won't work.

Lisa (Lively) Metzger said...

I have no problem with fixing something that is broken, however I do have a problem with creating life (via IVF) and then freezing them. YOU are at teh very least putting their lives on hold (as life does begin at conception) and are definitely risking their lives as most embryos die when thawed. I just can't see this being our create, put on hold and risk life. More here:

~Traci~ said...

I enjoyed reading this post. We just had our 8th baby after a difficult pregnancy (diagnosed with pre-eclampsia and HELPP syndrome w/hospitalization on several occasions and bedrest). Due to this, she was born at 32 w 5 d and in the NICU for a couple of weeks. She is a precious, sweet blessing and we are so thankful to have her! The dr. strongly recommended tubal ligation in a not-so-nice way. He could not understand why I didn't want to have this done and humilated and mocked me in front of groups of people on a couple of occasions.
Anyway, I was glad to read your post today. It gave me the courage I need to stand strong to our convictions regarding having more children in the future if that should be the case.
Thank you:) and have a great day!