Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Pregnancy Announcement Etiquette 101

Pregnancy Announcement Etiquette 101: When someone announces a pregnancy, 1st or 19th, it is RUDE to ask "another one?" or "don't you know what causes that?" or "Boy, you already have your hands full, don'tcha?" The ONLY PROPER response is CONGRATULATIONS! If you aren't happy for them, don't say anything. It steals their JOY for that moment! Plus, it's down right RUDE!!! - Marla Kracke

Comment: "Thank you Lisa, but can you add that also goes for adopting? I mean to say "more kids" , or "starting over again you could be having tea and retiring". I just want to say to them. I am not old."

My Thoughts: Yes, it can. But, honestly, I think more of society looks upon adoption as being more socially acceptable than actually conceiving another child. I get the, "You're pregnant with number NINE?!?" thing with a look of horror, but when they hear that we adopted three of those 9, they say things like, "That is so awesome", "I'm glad you open your home to children in need of homes, TOO" or such as that. It's almost as though if it were 9 biological that we had, they'd be all negative, but because we have adopted three, they'll give us credit for being benevolent souls and give us a free pass to "over populate" once more.

When you hand your womb over to God, all kinds of people and rude comments come out to jab you. I just wish children – conceived within the womb or within the heart – could ALL be considered blessings from Jesus in any way God chooses to send them! God NEVER creates mistakes. We're never too old to parent children OR birth the ones HE creates. Menopause is GOD turning off our biological clocks!

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Janice said...

That is so true! When we announced that we were having baby number 4the first thing my mother in law said " You just had a baby! I guess I need to come over and teach you how to prevent this". Lovely. She's a christian women.

Lisa (Lively) Metzger said...


I think you and I both know that God can handle preventing and creating life all on his own! Funny when we humans feel we need to overstep our bounds as far as soul-creating goes!

And, how exactly would she teach you how to prevent? Can she not share it with you over the phone or through e-mail? That seems funny to me (and a bit uncomfortable). Oh my! LOL!

~ Lisa

Summertime said...

Lisa, I'm so excited to hear that you are covering this area!! So many people I encounter are against children. It's heartbreaking! Children are the literal future! I'm just so shocked that it's such a stigma in this country to have more than two! May God bless you and ALL your children today and always! Love from the Nichols family!

The M Family said...

I love this post! I'm glad you posted it. We all need some etiquette training. I just found your blog and I'm so inspired. Thank you.

Rachel said...

great post! I get a lot of comments (and looks :)- and that is with only 5. My daughter told me today that she wishes I could have another baby... I guess that's the kind of comment that counts! love your blog by, the way :).

Chelsey said...

Love this!!! We have six. It was only with the last three that we let the Lord have control of the womb and they were each within 16-18 months of each other. (I look back now though and wish someone had grabed my husband and I sooner and showed us the TRUTH about birth control and letting God fully be in control as my older three are spaced out and I grieve a bit that I might have missed out on God's blessings between my older three).

Anyway, I got so much grief with our 6th and how they were too close together. Leah, our youngest, is now 18 months and I've not gotten pregnant yet. People assume we've "gotten smart" and are using something to prevent. They assume that is the only way we aren't already pregnant. Not the case! It is totally in HIS timing!!

Anyway, thanks for a GREAT post as usual! :)

Mom of Many said...

So true and so sad. My joy has been stolen repeatedly during our 8 pregnancies by those very comments. I guess people often don't realize how hurtful words can be. Knowing that we are pleasing God and He is in control of my womb makes it worth it though.

Candice said...