Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Does the feeling of peace make birth control okay in God's eyes?

Reposted from July 2010

Q. If a couple prays and God gives them peace to use birth control, are they in God's will regardless?

A.The below verses show why I have a problem with seeking "peace of the heart" when making a decision. Peace doesn't necessarily equal God's Will. Peace can accompany God's Will, but it should not be a determining factor when making a decision. We are all prone to foolish thinking, which is why the study and meditation on the Word of God is so vitally important when making ALL decisions.

Jeremiah 17:9
"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"
Proverbs 28:26 "He that trusts in his own heart is a fool..."
Proverbs 12:15
"The way of a fool is right in his own eyes..."

That's why since GOD is the only Creator of human life, I trust HIM alone with the decision as to when He should create a human soul! How could I time having a child better than the Creator Himself? To think I could/can/should do so would make me a FOOL!

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Jessica said...

Yep - God's will isn't something that we feel. Our feelings are deceptive and aren't a good source of truth. We can only know God's will through Scripture.

Dawn said...

Great answer to that question! Thanks for posting:)

Katie said...

My husband and I grew up in the organization that heavily promoted a Quiver full family. I dreamed of having many children.

Come to find out I have extreme morning (all day!) sickness with each pregnancy that puts me in bed and unable to care for my children. Normal morning sickness for me doesn't come until the last few weeks of pregnancy. Without heavy, heavy drugs I throw up the entire time.
Do I have peace about having large spaces between my three children and only having 3? Yes I do. I understand the quiver full movement and the scripture behind it. I was raised around it and thought that would be me.
But for my family God did not give me the ability to carry children easily so being a Quiverfull family is out of the question unless I want someone else raising my kids.

I never have been on the pill or any contraception that would hinder a pregnancy that has already happened. But we have used other methods and abstinence over the years to prevent pregnancy. I thank God that He has given us clear signs of when we are fertile or not so it is easy to prevent (or not prevent!) pregnancy.

I envy families with a lot of children, I thought that would be me... So don't presume that just because someone only has a few children or does have peace about preventing pregnancy that they are not being led by God in this area. Sometimes the heart is there but the ability is not.

Lisa (Lively) Metzger said...

Katie, I love your comment about assuming things based on family size. If you read other posts, you'll see that I never assume that a small number of children speaks of how someone is NOT quiverfull.

Many would have told me and did tell me years ago to stop having children. But despite 7 losses and a life-threatening disorder that brought me within an hour of costing me my life when I lost my little boy, Levi (search my blog for his story), we still have decided to allow God that control...even if that means that I am not here to raise my children.

Each pregnancy is FILLED with obstacles that require much medical intervention and a disruption to the way in which my children are raised. However, if I had spaced them out or stopped....Eva (and some of the other children) would not be here! I have the ABILITY (and medical backing; excuse for using "common sense," etc.) to refuse God the control of my womb, but I do not allow my ability to determine what my spirit (heart) knows to be true and right, after studying God's Word on this issue of creating and preventing life.

I know it's hard. I know MANY women with MANY "logical" reasons as to why they should not have any more children. However, many of them have allowed God to use their wombs despite the reasoning, and they were blessed beyond measure. I admire their brave spirits and ultimate trust in God's plan for them and their children!

Science allows for much we can do to prevent life, however it is clear in the Word of God that God, alone, is the One who opens and closes the womb. Birth control (in many forms) has been available to us to thousands of years, however...it doesn't mean it's GOd's Will just because it's there for us to learn, understand and use.

Hope this makes some sense. I will be posting on this in the near future, as I think that many women seek to justify why they've made the decision to have/not have many children and/or allow God the control of the womb...no matter what.

Thanks for your comment!


Erin McCoy said...

Hi Lisa, I have a question in your opinion of how adoption can play a role into this. In many adoption cases, sometimes pregnancy can disrupt a case (which can be paralleled to losing a baby).. therefore, we've felt it necessary to use natural planning (and sometimes barrier methods -- but never anything that would be abortificant) to space our bio kids in order to respond to God's call to care for orphans.. but.... i definitely agree with your post as far as 'peace of heart' being a fault decision maker.. I want what we do to be in line with God's will but I can't figure how to do both?

Erin McCoy said...

i just found your blog today and have been having toooo much fun reading thru it... anyway, in addition to the above question, i have 2 more: In several of your posts you mention God controls how many kids we should/will have.. I agree, but wonder how you respond when people say we are messing that up with adoption (obv I don't agree with people that would think that, but I'm having a hard time articulating an answer biblically). Like if someone (Not me!!) wanted to say that your point of God controlling how many kids we have is invalid because you yourself have added to your family thru non-biological means, thus one-upping God's plan?

Additionally, and this is slightly off topic -- I wondered about the abortion-counter on your site, is it also including babies being aborted thru birth control (i imagine it'd be difficult to get an exact number, but I was just curious whether those numbers should be much higher for those poor sweet babies that don't even have a change to implant in the uterus)

Lisa (Lively) Metzger said...

See this post as a follow up to your question, Erin! http://www.a2ndgenerationofhomeschooling.com/2011/06/adoption-vs-letting-god-plan-your.html Thanks for the GREAT question that I've never addressed before! :) ~ Lisa