A. Have you ever encountered bleeding issues after birth? If so, you might want to have them test you for clotting disorders. There are numerous disorders to test for, but pre-e is a common result of the autoimmune/clotting disorder. I have antiphospholipid syndrome. I ended up with severe Pre-e with Eva and was induced at 37 weeks. I’ve had it with other children, as well.
Yes, our insurance covered the testing, as it was ordered by the OB who treated me in the ER with Levi. They needed to find out why I had lost so many and experienced such dramatic and sudden blood loss after each of my births and losses (13 total). They may or may not consider your testing medically necessary, BUT ask your OB that they "code" it as that, so that it is covered!! (on a side note, you should look into Samaritan Ministries Christian Healthcare....we have done it since Levi's loss and LOVE it...wish we'd done it YEARS ago!)
ANYWAY...yes, I did have doubts about having more, but only when I was in the "thick of it"...when I had lost Levi and was in the ER. I was passing in and out of consciousness in the hospital and was told later that I had come within an hour of dying. I remember telling Mark that I thought that Judah was our last. At the time I said that, I was getting my first of four blood transfusions and had already been in shock when the ambulance came for me. It was very surreal...very scary. So, yes, at that point I felt that we would have no more children.
HOWEVER, after I could gather my thoughts and seek God (just days later), I reevaluated my beliefs about God's sovereignty in creating life and re-thought and re-read what I said I believed all those years. This was the conclusion we came to: It is BECAUSE of our belief of Who God is that Mark and I both hold fast to our beliefs about family planning. God has numbered each of our days (including mine and Levi's) and He would not create a child in my womb that was to cause my death without His foreknowledge and planning! God would not create a soul that we "should have prevented," just to take my life away to prove to the rest of the world that He needs our help in family planning. The fact is that He needs no one's assistance in the creation or prevention of life. The Creator can handle it all without our finite wisdom and help. He does not need our assistance in family planning in the least. Why do we worry so? Because...we are human.
My view of God is a view that He is all-powerful and all knowing. He is our protector; our shield. He is our comforter. He loves us with a love unspeakable. He holds us all in the palms of His hand. He numbers the very hairs on our heads, therefore He will not let anything happen to me in childbirth that He didn't have planned from before my own birth...He does not curse us (take away our lives needlessly) because we did not limit the blessings of children - His creations. If I were or am to die in childbearing, that was planned from before the beginning of time! This life is but a vapor (James 4:14 "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."). Because my life is a mist, I will choose to let God watch out for my well-being while He takes over the creations within me. After all, who could know what's better for me and my babes, but the all-knowing God; Creator of Heaven and earth!
I trust in God - and God alone. I trust NOT in my limited human understanding. I have a peace that goes beyond understanding, knowing that in following His plan for our family that He will continue to watch out for us, whether I am here to mother or not; whether He chooses to bless us with more children or not. I TRUST IN GOD'S Wisdom, as only HE can see down the road ahead! I rest in His hand! Humans cannot fathom His love. We should not attempt to second-guess His decisions (although it is okay to tell God about our human feelings...He wants to listen to His children).
Because I trust so in my Creator...and the Creator of my children, present and yet to come...I will keep my vow to let HIM plan our family! "I will fulfill my vows to You, O God, and will offer a sacrifice of thanks for Your help. For you have rescued me from death; You have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in Your presence, O God, in Your life-giving light." Psalm 56:12-13
HERE are some thoughts on risking death in childbearing. It might be of some encouragement to you!
I hope I was able to answer your questions and encourage you some with this!