Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Reinventing the Wheel - Birth Control

Even with Natural Family Planning, the reasonings behind birth control are still the same whether "natural" or "un-natural". Birth control is the attempt to control the procreation and prevent God from creating when He pleases. Whenever we try to reinvent the wheel in family planning we end up causing more harm than good. There is so much relief and peace in just letting God do what He does best...create life at His whim. :) I would hate to try to plan when or if I should have another...and then schedule my love life around all of it. Too much stress for a marriage!

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Suzy said...

Ok, now I really am at a loss, you protest at abortion clinics, yet, don't agree with birth control? Not everyone can afford to have child after child, no matter how much "help" they get.

Using birth control is the responsible choice for many, many people.

Lisa (Lively) Metzger said...

We do not protest at abortion clinics, we warn them of what will happen to their child and we offer help and love in Jesus' name. Quite a difference there.

There is such a difference with a person who has FAITH in their Creator and someone who relies on their own wisdom and strength to get them through life. We know that God will not send us a child without providing the means necessary to care for His creation. Yes, we can make unwise spending decisions which cause us to not be able to provide. However, if we take care of what the Lord has given us, He will see us through.

I'm sorry you're at a loss. This is really a concept that Christians, who want to entrust their lives to God and God alone, would only really understand. It's a simple concept based on FAITH and the promises of God in His Word. If it bothers you so much, I really don't know why you are reading my blog. :)


Mrs. Mary said...

I agree completely Lisa...before knowing Him we took permanent steps to stop any more children. I would give anything to give back control of our family's size to God. So much pain and regret has come from this decision, but I also believe he can also provide the means to do a miracle and reversal if it is His plan. Sadly I have been encouraged by those in Church leadership that what we did was reasonable and can't procure the necessary recommendations to be a part of a reversal ministry's funding. God can overcome... blessings.

Sarah said...

Lisa, I respect your stance. But life is not always so easy. Can
I share my story with you?

My husband and I are believers and we have been challenged much in this life to walk by faith, faithful to the One who has called us, according to the callings he has on our lives.

With that said, we made a move from Central Florida to the mountains of NC in early 2010. We really felt lead by God to pursue our dream of getting out of the rat race and set up a home base for our family. We thought: as we grow in our walks and provide our children with a respite, that it would be a season to also prepare us for our call to be missionaries.

We also really prayed for a community of believers that lived in community with one an other.

So we made this move, with our twin 3 year olds and our 6 month old baby. My husband had a telecommuting job which allowed him to make a major move like this.

We had no debt and about 10k in saving so we stepped out in faith and we were encouraged along the way by brothers and sisters in Christ.

We loved it up there. Learned a lot about ourselves. It was a time where we dug in the word ourselves and questioned man made doctrines. We decided that birth control (for us that meant abstaining while I was fertile or using a condom) was not trusting God with our lives, future, etc.

We got pregnant with our precious 4th child :) but 1 week later my husband was laid off from his job. He could not find work that would support our family in the small town we lived in, nor in the neighboring towns.

My dad, also a believer, invested in an internet marketing business and gave it to my husband. Giving him the opportunity to pursue a business (my husband went to business school and was READY to pursue his own business).

My parents, also opened up their home to us. We had no where else to go and our savings was almost gone, so we made the major move back when I was 34 weeks pregnant. It was exactly one year after moving up to the mountains- I drove the little ones in the car, while my husband drove the truck.

For a year we lived with family. We exhausted all our savings, were forced to live on food stamps so that we could eat, and had Medicaid insurance for our family. My husband looked little for work and pursued his business like crazy, because it made sense to all of us. I took care of my twin 4 year olds, 1.5 year old and new baby. We were all cramped in my parents 3 bedroom house.

My mom started feeling lost in her own home. Tension began to rise, my parents were not as much in agreement with how we pursue financial freedom.

I already dealing with feelings of failure when we moved back, but it got worse as time went on. When tension rose in the house and very few that we were in fellowship with in the church understood us, feelings of misunderstanding rose in my like a pimple on a teenager.

I did not know what way was up from down. I felt like we went from trusting in God to all of a sudden relying on big government.

I had very little privacy to talk things out with my husband and we were subject to MY parents home rules, which made having our own family very difficult.

My dad began making frequent comments about vasectomy. he would say that it was not being responsible if we didn't learn from what we walked through, that we need to take care of the kids we have now, and that we are not welcome back at their house if we ever should be in need again.

Sarah said...

It is very difficult to explain how oppressing that can all be unless you have walked it.

The deal was if my husband's business did not take off by the time the baby was 6 months old, I would go back to work as a RN. We did not have a lot time or space to talk things out, but it seemed like the best option because I would have better job security and ability to provide for a family of our size because of my income vs. what he could make . . . at least until his business took off.

I would stress myself out about getting pregnant while working, because my dad made it clear I understood that could happen. How could I be the bread winner but also be a good mom? If I get pregnant with number 5 how could I keep up physically with work and also be a momma? With little recooperation time, how could I go back to work and not breastfeed my little one!? And if anything happened to me (or even my husband), because I realized we are not exempt from disaster, we would have no where to go. My dad made that clear.

What would you have done? Remember the physical exhaustion of being a mommy, just being pregnant and having baby, history of making two large moves, living with family for a year and raising your kids in someone else' house, not having time to talk with your spouse, etc.

I just wanted to obey and love God. But felt the shame of it all. Food stamps, shame, failure.

After researching till I wanted to bang my head against the wall, we decided for him to get a vasectomy. He did. Of course the gov. paid for it. Our thoughts: Lord please let us be able to reverse this when we are stable!!!?

I have worked for a little over a year, we have been renting our own place for almost a year. Thank God we still have not had to go into debt and we are looking to buy a home w low mortgage, so we can have more of that stability.

But our dreams ... callings ... promises? I still don't know what God is doing.

I want to trust Him and believe that He is still in control of our lives.

My husband is still trying to work on his business in the evenings so that he can have something that can support our family. He home schools our 6 year old (kindergarten-first grade) and 3 year old. I work three 12 hour nights a week. I still breastfeed our almost two year old. I hold onto my time with the kids ... but I struggle in my mind with understanding God's plan in this all.

It was not so easy when we decided to put it into God's hand. I don't distrust His ability, but this world is so messed up and sometimes we suffer and have to make decisions that I believe He is able to bring Himself glory through. That is my prayer. Because I am a broken vessel before him. But He is the light of this world.

Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah said...

I love children and they are a blessing!!! and I long for more! But after walking through what we have, I don't think I can compare abortion to birth control in the same light. One is killing a child, the other is not allowing a blessing to come about. However, other things in life are blessings too (although not to the same degree as human life) like financial stability and the ability to enjoy the children you have. So, in the matter of birth control, as much as I want to say "it is wrong" (because I think it keeps people from experiencing the biggest joy in this life), I say "it is not what God intended when He created His perfect world, but he foreknew that in this world's sinful state He would allow it at times for His glory sake."

Unless you want to argue a dogmatic approach of hard set rules being more important than God's grace and ability to use anything for His glory. And if that is the case, you would be condemning me with your doctrine, and in that scenario I hid myself behind the cross of Christ.

Please and blessings Lisa! You do encourage me with your ministry to those at the abortion clinics and I pray God's blessing it that and over your family.

Sarah said...

I am sorry i posted 3 posts (well actually 4 . . but deleted it because it was actually a duplicate of one of the posts). Blogger would not allow me to do one long post, thus the reason it is all broken up :)